Tag Archives: Whole 30 poem

#271: The Neologist Speaks about Food


Whoever made this graphic forgot to add SUGAR to the NO list.

Lately, I have had two dreams,
both inexorborific,
one concerning jelly beans,
another about beer, farfignewtons.
I will dream next about cheese.
I have not had a sandwich
in ten horrorflopnoggen days.
Candy is no longer thingful.
I wouldn’t recognito a potato chip
if it bit me right on the keatettle.
I’ve not had milk. I tried something
called Almond Yogurt and it
nearly killed me with its awfulscrap.
All my buzzes lately have been
100% natural, doubleplusgood.
I rolled up some cabbage inside
of a slice of deli-meat, chewed
and swallowfinched.
I grillified salmon, lean meats.
Eggs and bacon, bacon and eggs,
fruits and vegetables, fruits and fruits.
I am told I will become very clean
both inside and outtheresomewhere.
I am the king of my domainname.
I speak of food as if it were all nuts and berries.

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