Tag Archives: spam comments on blog posts

#167: Sir Spam A Lot (a found poem)

spam5

From time to time, believe it or not, I receive spam comments through my little blog site.  They are often poorly written, sometimes hilariously so.  And they remain a complete mystery to me: Where do they come from? What is their purpose? What could the originator of the message, be it a real live human or a machine, possibly want from me, possibly hope to achieve? I’ve written about this before and thought maybe that would be the last word, but this one came to me today and it was ripe for picking.  What follows is a found poem, the exact text of the spam comment but broken into lines, and then a new stanza of mine in response.  Could be fun. Another bonus poem for napowrimo: Extra Soul Credit.

Sir Spam A Lot (a found poem and a response)

Mr. Jarmer,

Thank you
for any other
informative website.
Where else could I
get that type of information
written in such
an ideal manner?
I have a venture
that I am just now
operating on, and
I have been at the
look out for such information.

Sincerely,
Sir Spam A Lot

Dear Sir Spam A Lot,

Thank you valuable for this.
I hope your operation was
successful and your patient venture
is well. Such another informative
thing I have not found, so again,
much to be thanked on.
I appreciate as well such
an ideal manner of written things.
I hope the lookout finds you
finding this type of information
again.

Sincerely,
Michael Jarmer

p.s.: More ideal manner of things informational can be found here
https://michaeljarmer.com/2014/06/20/137-blog-spam/

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#137: Blog Spam

spam5

I often get comments
on my blog posts that read
almost and sometimes
exactly like this:
“I am genuinely
delighted to glance at this
bloig postѕ
which consists of lots
of valuable information,
thanks for providing these
kinds of data,”
apropos of absolutely
nothing. I’m puzzled.
Is this the deliberate work
of a real person, a real
person who either is
half literate or not a
native speaker, or is
there a machine that
spits this crap out
randomly into the web,
programed by such
a person described
above or acting on
its own, hoping somehow
the message will stick
somewhere? And to what
purpose?  What could
the person or the machine
possibly expect from me
besides: Mark as Spam?
Am I supposed to be impressed?
Am I supposed to become their friend?
Am I supposed to feel inspired
to provide more “valuable information”
and “kinds of data” to this person,
this machine?  Are they hiding
somewhere, in wait for me,
to infect my computer, rob my bank,
spy on my surfing, co-opt my bloig?
Whoever they are, or whatever it is,
I thank them for providing
subject matter for another poem,
but would request respectfully
that henceforward they refrain
from posting comments
on a blog post they’ve never read
unless they are willing to
tell me who they are
and what they want.

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