#137: Blog Spam


I often get comments
on my blog posts that read
almost and sometimes
exactly like this:
“I am genuinely
delighted to glance at this
bloig postѕ
which consists of lots
of valuable information,
thanks for providing these
kinds of data,”
apropos of absolutely
nothing. I’m puzzled.
Is this the deliberate work
of a real person, a real
person who either is
half literate or not a
native speaker, or is
there a machine that
spits this crap out
randomly into the web,
programed by such
a person described
above or acting on
its own, hoping somehow
the message will stick
somewhere? And to what
purpose?  What could
the person or the machine
possibly expect from me
besides: Mark as Spam?
Am I supposed to be impressed?
Am I supposed to become their friend?
Am I supposed to feel inspired
to provide more “valuable information”
and “kinds of data” to this person,
this machine?  Are they hiding
somewhere, in wait for me,
to infect my computer, rob my bank,
spy on my surfing, co-opt my bloig?
Whoever they are, or whatever it is,
I thank them for providing
subject matter for another poem,
but would request respectfully
that henceforward they refrain
from posting comments
on a blog post they’ve never read
unless they are willing to
tell me who they are
and what they want.

Published by michaeljarmer

I'm a public high school English teacher, fiction writer, poet, and musician in Portland, Oregon

4 thoughts on “#137: Blog Spam

  1. I wrote an open letter to spammy followers a while back. I noticed a rash of followers who also happened to be trying to advertise their wonderful plan for making money from blogging, enough to travel wherever they wanted in the world, and all you need is a laptop and a wifi connection. If it were that easy, we’d all be doing it!

    1. Yes! Lorien, I get those kind of messages, too. At least those kind are explicable, however nuts. Those other kind, the kind that make no sense and are totally unrelated to anything in the blog post, those are the mysterious ones and especially unnerving. Thanks for reading!

  2. This new one today, verbatim: “It is the best time to make a few plans for the lopng rrun and it iis time to be happy. I’ve learn this put up and iff I may I desire to counsel you few interesting issues or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles relating tto this article. I wwish to read more issues approximately it!” I’m not kidding.

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