Greetings, class of 2012! You’ve worked hard and you’ve finally arrived at this momentous day, which, just like yesterday was, and the day before yesterday, and just like tomorrow will be and the day after tomorrow will be again, the first day of the rest of your life. But yesterday you weren’t graduating from highContinue reading “The Imaginary Commencement Address”
Tag Archives: teaching
No Grades? No Carrots or Sticks? Then What?
Not cookies and pokes in the ribs, I presume. No, we can’t just replace one set of rewards and punishments for a different set, although, most people would rather have a cookie than a carrot and would like even less to be poked in the ribs than slapped with a stick. I don’t know aboutContinue reading “No Grades? No Carrots or Sticks? Then What?”
No More Carrots, No More Sticks: A Classroom Without Grades
You might think I’m crazy. After all, things (and people) must be measured. And they must be measured against other things and other people. Only this morning in a staff meeting our school’s principal talked about how the only way to improve a thing is to be able to measure said thing. And while myContinue reading “No More Carrots, No More Sticks: A Classroom Without Grades”
Monkeys Typing Shakespeare: Plagiarism’s New Frontier
A teacher friend came into my classroom this morning with a new internet discovery which proves once and for all that it is in fact possible to get a group of monkeys together with some typewriters (read: computers with internet access) who will, given a little time and some encouragement, recreate the works of Shakespeare.Continue reading “Monkeys Typing Shakespeare: Plagiarism’s New Frontier”
Down and Out In A-9
A student, a high school senior re-taking a junior level class in American Literature, says to me, “Mr. Jarmer, you’re a pretty smart guy, so why don’t you help me get a new movement started. We’re starting a petition that will fix schools forever.” “Oh, I’m intrigued,” I say. “Tell me about it!” “Here’s theContinue reading “Down and Out In A-9”
An English Teacher Doesn’t Do The Math: The Trouble With Assessment
It’s Friday and I’m not at work. It’s a furlough day, one of the 14 days cut from the school year in our district’s belt tightening regimen. I’ve got grading to do, but I’m not going to do it. Hell no. Instead, I’ll write about doing it. I want to conclude this part of myContinue reading “An English Teacher Doesn’t Do The Math: The Trouble With Assessment”
An English Teacher Does The Math
Teaching is like this: I can never get it right. I will never feel like I’ve mastered the craft; I am always learning it. If I think for a moment I’ve mastered it, I’m a fool. There will always be days when I feel unstoppable and totally effective followed by days when I am sureContinue reading “An English Teacher Does The Math”
Are Grades The Devil?
Here’s a provocative thesis for you: grades are the devil. They’re evil. They’re evil because they’re oppressive and overvalued. And they’re dumb, not stupid-dumb (although, that’s kind of true), but rather mute-dumb. They don’t tell us anything. They don’t tell us what we need to know about what’s been taught or how, what’s been learned,Continue reading “Are Grades The Devil?”
Difficult Work: It’s A Good Thing They Like Me
Teachers who say that it doesn’t matter whether or not students like them have something wrong with their brains. It seems to me that one of a teacher’s greatest tools, an ace in the hole, so to speak, or, conversely, his greatest deficit, is whether or not his students like, love, or hate him. Here’sContinue reading “Difficult Work: It’s A Good Thing They Like Me”
Difficult Work: Oh, Let Me Count The Ways
Teaching is bloody difficult work. And don’t let anyone give you that romantic drivel about the three months teachers have off every year as an argument that teachers have some kind of cushy existence. I’ve seen the sticker, and even though it contains a kernel of guilty truthiness for me, I philosophically abhor the message:Continue reading “Difficult Work: Oh, Let Me Count The Ways”
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