#392: Poem on April 19, 2021

April 19 must be Catharsis Day. Today’s prompt from Napowrimo was to write a rant. So I took the opportunity to get some stuff off my chest. It felt good. Don’t worry about me; I went over the top–you know–for effect. I went full-on grumpy old man. I had a good time. I recommend it for everybody.

Poem on April 19

And another thing!
I sit outside for ten minutes
And I’ve got these stupid little
Bugs all over my shirt.
Meanwhile the dog keeps
Digging holes in the yard
And the neighbor lady
Keeps yelling at her barkers
And I’d much rather hear
Their barking than her yelling
And her grandchildren are
Playing in a big mound of dirt.
Why do people throw
Their garbage in the ditch?
Don’t people know there’s a
Speed limit on this fucking street?
And every time I hear one of
Those engines that sound like
Helicopters or a billion lawn mowers
I just want to scream bloody murder.
No, you can’t hook up a goddamn
Gasoline burning engine to your
Stupid bicycle. They’re called pedals! 
Am I just supposed to say yes now
Every time a student asks for something?
Yes, you can turn this assignment in
Three months late. Sure, yes, it’s okay
That you haven’t attended a single class
The entire quarter–because I can make time
To look at your late work
During the next quarter when I’ll have
Another ninety new students.
I’m so done with this, people keep
Saying, and I’m thinking, no, you’re not!
Or rather, it doesn’t really matter
That you feel done with this; whatever this is
Will still be going on whether you like it
Or not until it stops. Stupid auto-capitalization
At the front of every new line! What century
Is this? And I call tech support for some
Ugly shadowing on my laptop display, and
It turns out my battery is swelling like
a hard sponge or a cancerous growth.
And I send the computer to Apple and they
Replace the battery but there’s still this
Ugly shadow shit going on because the two
Problems had nothing in common and now I’ll
Have to send it out again for another repair!
Damn it, don’t throw your needles in my yard!
And now Morrissey’s angry at The Simpsons
And that one Russian guy is at death’s door
And don’t get me started about guns and Qanon
And that congressman with an enormous head
Who’s in trouble for sex-trafficing a minor
And that Jim Jordan guy who thinks wearing a
Mask is a violation of his civil liberties. I’d love
To violate that guy’s civil liberties. Let me at him.
My skin is super dry and I itch all over. Where’s the
God forsaken moisturizer in this house? And what’s
Up with these ugly spots on my arms? Work with me,
People! If it ain’t one thing it’s another stupid thing.  

Published by michaeljarmer

I'm a public high school English teacher, fiction writer, poet, and musician in Portland, Oregon

2 thoughts on “#392: Poem on April 19, 2021

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