michaeljarmer

#585: Keeping the Baby

I’m not making this up. The airline steward gets on the microphone at the gate to announce that any families with babies need to be forewarned: if the baby smiles at him, he says, he’s taking the baby, he’s keeping the baby.

Feeling the Love: A Post Wally Camp Dispatch

I got home from Wally Camp on Saturday with the worst lower back pain I’ve experienced in some time. I mean, up until this morning I could barely put on my own damn socks. Partly the result of sleeping in the dorm at Macalester College on a mattress that felt like it had rocks insideContinue reading “Feeling the Love: A Post Wally Camp Dispatch”

#584: Meditation Under Construction (A Wally Camp Dispatch)

In my novel, the main characteris building a playhouseand his drivewayis torn to shitfor the necessary underground infrastructure. In reality, the campus atMacalester Collegein St. Paul, Minnesotais under constructionand roads and sidewalksand large lawn swathsare torn to shit to make way for the necessary underground infrastructure. We meditated to that. Windows open so the morningbreezeContinue reading “#584: Meditation Under Construction (A Wally Camp Dispatch)”

#583: The Forgotten Watch (Three Haiku)

Did you know that the plural of haiku is haiku? You’re welcome. Arrived safely and happily yesterday at Macalester College in St. Paul, Minnesota for the annual Warren Wilson MFA Program for Writers alumni conference, otherwise known as Wally Camp. One of our intrepid emcees of our nightly readings of poetry and fiction and memoirContinue reading “#583: The Forgotten Watch (Three Haiku)”

#582: That Time I Got Help With a Bot from Another Bot

After a second day of hundreds of visits, I contacted the automated helpon my Word Press site to see if itcould stop my German bots. Initially, I asked to speak to a realperson, but the automated helpwas, how do I say, insistent aboutgiving it a go. Why not, I said. Together, we learned a lotconcerningContinue reading “#582: That Time I Got Help With a Bot from Another Bot”

#581: That Time 856 Germans Visited My Blog

I get this notification from WordPress:“Your stats are booming! michaeljarmer is getting a lot of views.” Of course, I want to know more, so I visit my statsand over the course of a few hours, I have 249, then 380, moments later567, and by the end of the day, 856, all these visits originating fromContinue reading “#581: That Time 856 Germans Visited My Blog”

#579: Jill

I couldn’t get back to sleepso I just got up super early, made coffee, sat for 20 minutesof breathing in and out, trying to calm the hamsters, later realizing I had forgottenmy meds two days in a row,and mad at myself for not being more vigilant, I thoughtabout mortality, mine, and I thoughtabout Jill. BeforeContinue reading “#579: Jill”

#578: I See Willy Loman

Because each night I try to watch the opening monologue of my favorite late-night comedy talk shows, in addition to the Maddow or the Psaki,the various news highlights from the day, I’ve seen the clip five or six times by now of Donald Trump’s interview with Terry Moranwhere Trump insists against glaring evidence to theContinue reading “#578: I See Willy Loman”

#577: DMV Meditation

The line is three blocks long, people waiting to get into the DMV. I’m in this line half an hour before opening, and even when the doors open and the line begins to move, the wait is interminable. The old woman in front of me, who can barely stand, is cheerful, wants to chat. I amContinue reading “#577: DMV Meditation”