#161: I’m Worried About Flo

I’m worried about Flo
the Progressive Girl.
Sometimes her eyes
are all goofy and weird,
huge, like those people
in Margaret Keane’s paintings,
the painter whose husband
was trying the whole time
to claim that his wife’s
paintings were his own,
and she must have been
in cahoots with him because
that’s what everybody thought
and she didn’t say anything
for a really long time.

Today, Flo the Progressive Girl
has a horn on her head and wings.
Every time I open Facebook to sign in
she’s there staring at me and
I’ve become used to seeing her
and so when she gets all weird on me,
like when her eyes get big or when
she has horns and wings, I worry about her.
To tell you the truth, I’m glad
she’s progressive, but I don’t even
know what she’s selling.
Last night I dreamed she was
with me shopping for an
audio interface for the studio
and her eyes were all big
and she had horns and I just
couldn’t make up my mind
and she wasn’t helping.
She was making things worse.
I’m worried for her, have grown
attached to her–not attracted,
per se. If I were single, and she
didn’t do that weird thing with
her eyes and the horns and wings,
if she knew more about audio
interfaces, I might be interested.
For now, I just hope she’s okay,
that her eyes won’t stay that way,
that the horn is a false horn,
that the wings are detachable,
and that if she wants to help me
someday shop for studio gear,
that’d be all right with me, too.