I misread the advertisement for a benefit car wash
as a benefit car crash, honestly enough,
my eye glancing quickly over the headline,
eliminating the ‘a’ in car and the ‘w’ in wash,
the brain filling in some redundancy so
that sense could be made–because no one
would advertise a benefit crash
without specifying the kind of crash
one could expect at such a benefit,
and subsequently I saw fireworks.
I could see how this kind of benefit
might be a huge money maker, as
people both like to feel they’re helping
and hurting their fellow man simultaneously.
So they line up, pay their hard earned money
to support their favorite cause or charity,
get into the car, or better yet, pay even more
to get someone they don’t like behind the wheel,
and then the cars take off, helter skelter,
the worse the driver’s skills the better,
dangerously fast around a track,
or, to speed up the process, the cars
aim directly at one another so the desired
outcome is certain and quick. Drive like hell
until someone gets hurt or killed, and
enjoy the great American paradoxical pastime:
Hold a benefit car crash;
destroy the village in order to save the village.
michael jarmer 