#24: I Love and Hate You, O Internet

Because I could not find inspiration in today’s prompt from NaPoWriMo (a challenge to make an anagram poem from my name), I submit the following instead.  This is an animal called an apostrophe.  An apostrophe is a figure of speech that addresses an audience that cannot respond, either because it is a dead person, a faraway person, a bunch of people, an animal, or a thing.  Poets have been known to stretch out this particular figure of speech over an entire poem. Here is my apostrophe love/hate letter to the Mighty Interwebs:

I Love and Hate You, O Internet

O Internet,
I both love and hate you.
I love you because you have
made it possible for me
to cancel cable
and I hate you
because high speed internet
is more expensive than it should be
and all of that money goes
to the cable company.
I love you because
you give me any piece
of information I desire
for a few key strokes
followed by an emphatic
return.  I hate you for the rabbit
hole experience–the labyrinthine
loss of hours that the rabbit hole sometimes entails.
I hate you for free porn and
think you are changing the brains
of young men, not in a good way.
I hate you for your insecurities,
for your spam and your viruses,
for your predatory users,
for your ready use by corporations
as a weapon of influence against hapless
potential consumers.
Most everything I desire of late
is perhaps something I saw
or heard about or read about
in your infinite webs, and
I hate you for that.
And I love you for it, too,
because that’s where I found
my pants, my coat,
the bike of my dreams,
my new favorite band.
You bitch. You angel.
I cannot help but think
I would be a better man without you.
Go away.  Don’t go.
I hate you.  I love you.
I love you.  I hate you.