#579: Jill

I couldn’t get back to sleep
so I just got up super early,
made coffee, sat for 20 minutes
of breathing in and out,
trying to calm the hamsters,
later realizing I had forgotten
my meds two days in a row,
and mad at myself for not
being more vigilant, I thought
about mortality, mine, and I thought
about Jill. Before breakfast
even, I went down to the CD
collection and pulled Sobule’s
eponymous album, you know
the one, the record with the songs
“I Kissed A Girl” and “Supermodel,”
and I put it on.
I put on another one, Happy Town,
this afternoon.
It’s like listening to these albums
for the first time.
It’s familiar, but fresh again,
holds up way better than
any grunge record could.
A kind of oasis amidst all
of that angsty nineties noise.
Thank you, Jill, for your
sweet, super smart, playful, almost
childlike exuberance, your intelligence
and bravery. I’m so sorry you’re gone
and in such a way. Let us not allow
any fire to douse or diminish
your flame.