I was out last night to see some
friends play music and I was standing
at a bar facing the stage for optimum
viewing and listening and there was
this couple standing next to me
who at one point asked me if I could
save their places for them.
They were only gone for about four
or five minutes but when they came
back, the woman had misplaced her
purse. She proceeded to check
on the ground under where she had
been standing and on the barstool
seats and she asked me if I had seen
it or seen anybody approach their
spot while they were away. My purse
is missing, she said. And then she
repeated this process over and over
again, looking, looking, asking, looking,
saying to me, My purse is missing.
Finally, she seemed to be shouting
over the loud music to no one in
particular, Someone stole my purse.
It seems they had every employee
in the place on alert and looking
for the missing purse while the
woman and her date made the
rounds around the club trying
to spot the thing, where, at somebody
else’s table? In some other woman’s
arms? I felt bad for her, of course,
but also not, because she seemed
to me either drunk or kind of dim-
witted. And her panic was disturbing
my ability to enjoy the show. They
didn’t find it. They came back once
more to the spot where I was to
gather their coats to leave, and
the woman’s date gave me his
opened but full can of beer and
said, You can have this, her purse
was stolen, as if the two things were
somehow related. I didn’t drink
that guy’s beer. It was a can of Coors
Light and that’s not my kind of beer
and I didn’t know if he had drunk
from it or not. After they left, I enjoyed
the show and seeing my friends
play music and I said hello to them
after they finished their set, but I woke
up this morning thinking about that
silly woman, imagining that she found
her purse in the car seat she sat in
before entering the club. She would
be happy that it wasn’t stolen after all,
but too embarrassed to come back
into the club to hear the rest of the show,
so her date would drive her home
and they would both be happy and
disappointed at the same time.
michael jarmer 