I
One of the most unlikely
musical surprises
of the last few years
is the extent to which
I grew to love Beyoncé.
Heretofore, completely out
of my wheelhouse (at
least I suspected), I’m trying
to remember the first
experience that won me.
I think it happened when
I watched the album-length
film of Lemonade. The sheer
audacity of that project
intrigued me, the idea of
making a music video for
an entire album, and when
I decided to watch, I was
captivated from start
to finish. Immediately I
understood that she was
more than just a pop
chanteuse, that here was
a musical personality
of monumental talent
and prodigious skill, clearly,
a first-rate artist.
My first acquisition was
the Lemonade album,
and within a month
I went back and picked
up Renaissance, Act I, and
then, in a bewildering fanboy
move, I bought Cowboy
Carter, Act II, twice!
For some frustrating
reason that album came
out first in a no-frills
double-album version,
then later in its fancy
boxed version complete
with massive full color
photo booklet, and like
a teenager, I traded up.
I wondered if there might
be something wrong with me.
II
Years before I bought it,
I sensed that
there was clearly something
significant and important about
the Lemonade album.
There was the buzz, the
critical acclaim, impossible
to ignore if you were
paying any attention.
In addition to that film
of the album, I watched
the Homecoming concert,
so, I must admit, initially
there was the stunning
visual appeal, the over-
the-top production, the
sheer ambition of everything
she attempted, like
featuring a full-on drum
and bugle corp in a live
performance. I’d seen nothing
like it since the days of
Michael Jackson, and,
don’t get me wrong, he
was a force to be reckoned
with as well, but Beyoncé,
for my money, is smarter,
is way more “literary,”
is more adventurous,
more experimental, and
she’ can be hilarious, which
I absolutely love, and (not
that this has any kind
of relevance at all), she
is about the most beautiful
human being on the planet.
III
I’d argue that there are
no bad songs, no mediocre
songs, zero skippable songs
on Lemonade. It’s a dense,
complex collection of tunes
that span a wide variety of
style, groove, and genre,
a kind of concept album
revolving around the principal
character’s unfaithful partner
and the couple’s journey towards
reconciliation and reconnection.
It is angry, mournful, beautiful,
but ultimately redemptive and
celebratory. I can’t imagine
anyone listening to this album
from start to finish not feeling
all the feels of this wild ride.
.
IV
It’s been raining a lot, but today
it lets up, long enough for me
to walk the dogs. Having been
pent up for the last few days inside,
they were dying to get out of the house.
Walking, I found myself unaccountably
sad, I mean, not completely
without reasons, but surprised
in the way I was moved suddenly
as I struggled with both dogs
on a double lead, holding them
back from passing neighbor pets, trying
to control the constant pull and tug.
My emotional state had nothing
to do with these animals, only
that walking for me is time to
ruminate, and today it took me
to some kind of dark corners.
I put on Renaissance when I got
home and felt immediately better,
then, Cowboy Carter in quick succession.
I’m still not sure why I love this music.
It’s good, but that’s not the whole
picture, because there are lots of “good”
bands and songwriters that I don’t
necessarily like. “Good” fails to
come close to a descriptive word
for Beyoncé’s art. In the same way
that it appeared to cure my afternoon
blues, I find her music transports
me into unfamiliar territory, sometimes
uncomfortable territory, but just as
often joyful, celebratory territory.
The first time I heard “American Requiem,”
her masterful cover of “Blackbird,”
and “16 Carriages” right in a row
on headphones, I got chills, you know,
over and over again,
and I struggled to keep myself together.
When the album was over, I sat in
a kind of stunned silence.
It was a singular, maybe a once
in a lifetime reaction to a first listen.
Queen Bey, indeed. I have become
a loyal subject.
Notes on the vinyl editions: Lemonade, Parkwood Entertainment, 2016, 180 gram vinyl, opaque yellow double album reissue. Renaissance, Act I, Parkwood Entertainment, 2022, 180 gram black vinyl, double album, box edition. Cowboy Carter, Act II, Parkwood Entertainment, 2024, 180 gram black vinyl, double album, box edition.
In case you’re just joining me: I am listening to (almost) every record in my collection in alphabetical order and writing a poem-like-thing in response. It appears that my collection in the letter B is pretty vast! I will “be” here for a while!
michael jarmer 