There are people that I meet, I have found, for whom I have an almost immediate affinity, people who exude an energy, an intelligence, or a sense of humor, or a welcoming presence that puts me at ease, that makes me feel seen, understood, and appreciated. I had coffee on Thursday with such an individual, a friend with whom I have had the pleasure of playing music with over the last six years or so, who is helping with background vocals on the Project MA album, and who is an infrequent but enthusiastic coffee date and coffee talk partner over the last couple of years. The conversation flows freely and equally. Although, out of sheer joy in the talk and the company, occasionally one of us will interrupt the other, and a quick dance of “I’m sorry, you go” ensues until one person continues or begins speaking. The key feature, the most salient characteristic of our conversation might be the intentional and focused energy on listening. I can speak only for myself, but I am intently interested in what she has to say, and I feel that spirit in return. Meeting, as we were, over a bit of bad news about a mutual collaborator, especially bad for me, because this is a person I feel close to, love, and take immense joy in working with, the need for conversation for me was somewhat therapeutic. I needed to talk through the dilemma, to describe it, and to share with my friend how I hoped to move forward. Sometimes we hope to get a certain amount of cheerleading from our friends and family, especially when we find ourselves in tight places. With a true friend, though, it feels significantly different and deeper than that. I left the conversation with this friend feeling more clarity about my decisions and a kind of lightness of heart, and gratitude, and hope.
I know other things happened on Thursday. I got up super early because I couldn’t get back to sleep. I know I meditated, I know that I did a little writing, I know I made myself a breakfast, but after the coffee with my friend, I can remember very little else from the day, even though most of it was still to come. That’s the thing. My conversation with a friend stands out to me as almost the only thing that occurred that day. That’s how remarkable it was. And that’s all.
michael jarmer 